Strategies for Overcoming Stress

We know that some of our greatest stressors come not so much from the events we experience or the challenges we face, but from how we view these, what we think about them, and how we respond to them.  Fear, worry, anger, resentment, and depression can be among our greatest, most caustic physiological stressors. But they can all be avoided—or certainly reduced—with the following insights and strategies.  

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Basics 

A serious loss can trigger a depressive episode.  However, cognitive behavioral research since the 1970s clearly shows that some are more vulnerable to—and more easily and deeply affected by—such losses and stressors than others.  So what makes some people stronger in the face of adversity than others?  Aaron Beck, M.D., considered by some to be the father of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) observed that the primary cause of how we feel at any given point in time is what we are thinking about or saying to ourselves.

CBT is believed to be the best validated therapy for depression that we know of today, much more effective than drug therapy or old psychotherapy.  With the help of some good nutrition, it helps a person control their own body chemistry and emotions from within, by controlling their thoughts, which drive their emotions. 

As noted, it is based on the now well established fact that our emotions are primarily a result of our dominant thoughts and focus. If this is true—and numerous studies have now shown that it is—then the key to controlling anger, fear, anxiety, and depression is to learn how to control our focus, and manage our thoughts. 

This again is easier said than done.  In fact, it may be impossible to control what thoughts might pop into our head.  But we can only focus on one thing at a time, and we can control how much we focus on these thoughts, how much we feed them, how much validity we give them, and how long we allow these to remain in our conscious mind.  

The following steps for overcoming anxiety and elevating mood are based on this reality. 

Basically, there are four steps to handling stress in cognitive behavioral therapy.  

1. Identify what you are thinking about or telling yourself when you are feeling down, anxious, fearful, depressed, etc. And write them down, as often as you can catch them, for a week… or at least several days.
2. The next time you find yourself thinking those same thoughts—or telling yourself those same things—let that be a trigger to shift your focus to something more productive or constructive that you can do something about.  
3. Take action on those items you can do something about.  You can start by at least noting down what you need to do and when.  Then do it! This is a great strategy if you are afraid of losing your mind or memory.  And this book provides many ideas in various areas that you can take action on, now!   
4. Learn to see stressful situations from a different perspective or point of view.  For example, many anxious or depressing thoughts actually arise from inaccurate, limited, or distorted interpretations of events, and most problems can be seen as opportunities for learning or impetus for making improvements. (Click on this link to a great website on this topic with a TED talk by our friend David Burns, MD, on how he got into this, and why it works better than meds. Also examples with worksheets and suggestions to help you work through your own distortions. 

As Dr. Burns points out in the TED talk linked to above, such an approach typically produces much better outcomes than just taking anti-anxiety or anti-depressant medications. 

We don’t have the space to adequately explain this approach here, but if you would like to learn more about how to control your thoughts, internal dialogues, and feelings see Dr. Burns best selling book Feeling Good, or his latest book Feeling Great, for additional examples of “cognitive distortions” and how to dispute or replace those with a more realistic or true view of yourself and the world. You may also want to make an appointment to visit with a local psychologist trained in cognitive behavioral therapy.